How often do you say to your partner, “I agree with you, but”? A sorry fact is that once you say but, you really don’t agree with your partner. Words like but, maybe, and often, usually change the context or meaning of a conversation. We use these words in our conversations to minimize conflict, or avoid commitment.
To be transparent (open and honest) you have to reduce how often that you use these types of words. Consider some examples.
“I think the Beatles were the best rock and roll group ever.”
“I agree, BUT what about the Rolling Stones, they were actually a better
band for entertainment.”
Try an alternate that is more forthright: “I liked the Stones even better.”
Another alternative: “The Beatles were great. I believe that the Who were the
greatest of their era and I like Nine Inch Nails for current music.
In a good relationship, honesty is the best policy. It allows you to know your partner’s
actual feelings. If you can share how you feel, while remaining kind, you have taken a big step to becoming a great communicator.
When is the last time you couldn’t be honest with your partner?
What would you be willing to do to change your interaction?
When can you start?
Today’s Truth: You can’t truly believe anything a person says before the word BUT. When you hear, “you’re right, but”, or “I love you, but”, be careful not to feel too safe.
Saturday, June 30, 2007
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2 comments:
I like today's blog but I liked the last one even better.
Oh, captain, what are we hiding from?
You've been hiding from the start.
Did some lover steal your heart,
Or did the full moon make you mad?
Oh, captain, why these speechless seas
That never seem to land?
Oh I need to understand.
Could a little light be that bad?
I can see your hands are roughened
By the wheel and the rope.
I'd like to look to you for hope,
I think it's hiding there.
This boat is blacked out like a city
Awaiting bombers in the night.
Oh you hold your helm so tight,
And yet the sky seems so fair.
Who guides this ship
Dreaming through the seas
Turning and searching,
Whichever way you please?
Speak to me, I need to see your face,
Shadowy captain, in a darkened space.
If I were to spy a city
Floating just above the sea,
Could we stop
And look for me
Among those playing on the pier?
Or would you turn away knowing,
It was still a ways away,
And if I was there today
you could not see me all that clear.
Shadowy captain of a charcoal ship,
Trying to give the light the slip
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